Review of “Wyvern and Children First” in Decibel
Categories: Press
‘Sup, people? So, we are pretty fucking huge now, because we got reviewed in a heavy metal magazine. Actually, to be totally honest, we didn’t even know there were any heavy metal magazines left, as the last issue we read was the Kerrang with Blackie Lawless on the cover, but hey – we’ll take it. The review is in the August issue of Decibel Magazine in a section of reviews for crappy demos and shit they don’t consider to be real records. Called “Throw Me A Frickin’ Bone!” – yeah… i don’t get it, either.
Wow, NWOBHM from SF! It’s weird to hear time-machine music executed with this degree of authenticity. The riffs are rough and ready; the vocals are rough and sometimes unready. But mostly it’s hot rockin’ times from dudes who appreciate the art of the harmony lead.
so… other than getting the title of the album wrong (the joke doesn’t work without the “First” part…) and then sort of back-hand dissing my awesomely raw and emotional vocal performances, we’ll claim victory. The dude who wrote it was also cool enough to post all the bands on his blog, Invisible Oranges, so check that out.






What the hell kind of review was that? They didn’t get the album title joke (hello Van Halen), they didn’t get the true awesomeness of hot fog vocals. They just didn’t get it. What is this guy’s definition of “rough”? Maybe rough is a good term to him, does he like rough sex or rough rider condoms? What does “sometimes unready” mean? I guess any press is good press and I did enjoy the last sentence “But mostly it’s hot rockin’ times from dudes who appreciate the art of the harmony lead”. Toss me a couple of bucks and I write you a review to make your ears, nose and throat bleed!
Writing somewhere between Hustler Magazine and the New Yorker, leading heavily towards the first reference though, I wonder why we all can’t get paid to be critics.
Apply here!
thanks for sticking up for us Dan… our music is undoubtedly over most people’s head and below their belts