If you are a huge heavy metal band that tours the world in the 80′s, and you write a song about being a huge heavy metal band that tours the world, and then you want to make a montage soaked video glamorizing your ridiculous fame and lifestyle, then this is how you fucking do it – - bronze that shit.

If only...

Thanks to my good friend Dave Fenton, who was kind enough to render me into this awesome scene.  If only I could live up to this metalness – - i’ll start hitting the creatine right away.  I hear there is now a popular iPhone app that sort of gives you a fat-suit on your face… that sucks – they need an iPhone app that makes you look like this.

Tim and Donny from the Fog recently took some well deserved R&R, and sat down with some of the boyz from Ezee Tiger (and Lars’ wife Robin) for some good old fashioned campaigning.  This here is just a little taste of the magic.

Stay tuned… next week, we have to deal with some kid who’s jaw fell off, and everyone already used all their healing potion.

Hot Fog’s hearts are sad and heavy today, as we learn of and absorb the passing of a great heavy metal hero, Ronnie James Dio. This message was posted by his wife and manager, Wendy Dio on his website. He finally succumbed to stomach cancer after almost a year long battle (read Rolling Stone article).

As a metal singer, he is a legend, and he wrote, recorded, and performed with so many other legends that its almost shocking to think about it. He was a short, balding, unattractive dude – there is no disputing that – - but by the sheer magnitude and power of his charisma and talent, he drew in millions of fans who eagerly and obediently thrust their hand-sign devil horns into the air as tribute to his metal mastery. He was the epitome of all that was good of a genre of music that has and continues to fight for respect in the halls of rock n’ roll history.  Music can be many things, and it is meaningful in our lives… but RJD taught us not to take ourselves too seriously, even while we take our craft and our art very seriously — that music can be about escape and pure enjoyment — this is the delicate fulcrum that great metal balances upon, and he understood it better than almost anyone.

RIP

artwork by Alan Forbes

As Hot Fog rolls into a new era with their soon to be released “Wyvern and Children First” and a tight and blistering new live set, it was time to create an image that would suitably scare little kids and women and generally represent the band and our music.

Alan has done amazing work for High on Fire, the Black Crowes, Queens of the Stoneage, The Misfits and countless others. You can see and buy a lot of his here on the Secretserpents site.

Now back to my bullshit job of keeping these monkeys fed and trained… who ever heard of a metal band with monkeys? Fucking jerks.

Ronny McDonaldson, Road Dog, ESQ.